Parenting counseling
Parenting Counseling is a psycho-educational process, lasting 1-24 months. The focus is exclusively on the quality of the parent-child relationship. It is suitable for both parents and those who would like to prepare for parenthood.
During therapy, patients come into contact with their own past as children as well as with other aspects of their character that may be affected by the arrival of a new member in their family. Therefore, many patients express a desire to receive specialized counseling regarding their parenting role.
It is possible that some of the sessions will take place with the child and the parent together, so their relationship can be better observed.
Processing Issues in Parental Counseling
Fatigue
Parents, in addition to the burdens of everyday life, also bear the burden of insecurity about whether they are raising their children correctly. The purpose of the therapist is to support the parent in developing his abilities and to examine with him issues that prevent him from responding appropriately. As I often say, in order to take care of others you must first take care of yourself.
Realistic expectations
The child understands itself from the mirroring it receives through the eyes of the parent. Seeing the parent's healthy reactions to this (eg recognition of the effort, encouragement, comfort) it realizes that it is worthy as a human being and strngthens its positive self-image is strengthened. On the contrary, toxic reactions of the parent (eg physical punishment, verbal abuse, criticism) give the child a negative image of itself that will be difficult to change in the future. The purpose of the therapist is to explore with the parent what expectations it has for the child and what is the appropriate way to manage the child's successes or failures, helping it to unfold its potential.
Avoiding comparison
Every child has its own potential. It can succeed to a certain extent and in certain areas. Parents need to understand that it is vain to compare their child with others. They often believe that they are motivating the child by comparing it to other "more capable children". In fact, they are making it question what they it has already achieved and if it worths the joy and comfort in its life. Every child - and human being in general - has its own pace and maximum degree that it can develop.
Common goals
For issues concerning the child, the couple needs to follow a common line and not double messages that create confusion for the child. The purpose of the therapist is to support the parents in their efforts to negotiate and reach a common agreement, setting common goals for raising the child. In other words, the purpose is to always have a positive vibe in their relationship with the child, even if they decide that as a couple they cannot be together and lead to a divorce.
Acceptance and management of the child's individuality/particularity
There are parents who deny that their child has a special need and attribute his specialness to the immaturity of its age and character. However, various children have learning and developmental difficulties, mental and physical health issues. However, the problem is not the particularity of the child, but the refusal of the parents to be properly informed. This refusal of the parents arises from the difficulty of managing their difficult feelings about this issue. Lack of guidance from appropriate professionals perpetuates problems in child-parent relationships and burdens the child's own health.
Avoiding past mistakes
Sometimes, the parent can reproduce ways of acting and educating that resemble those of his own parents. However, such behaviors may perpetuate a toxic situation that burdens the child's life. The therapist is called upon to work with the parent to identify what should be kept from the past and what not, helping the parent to form his/her own parenting style and not that of previous generations.
<a href="https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/group-therapy-support-concept_9175198.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=0&uuid=f39edf59-58c3-47e5-b716-a88c44d22c9d">Image by pch.vector on Freepik</a>